Making a mess...

So, my daughter is a hurricane. She blows through a room and leaves a trail of destruction behind her. She plays with every toy and makes a huge mess. It drives me crazy.

So I holler.

And I threaten.

And then I had an epiphany...

Making a mess is good. She is playing with her toys. She is engaging her imagination. She is interacting with her brothers. She is not watching television. She is not playing video games.

If I continue to berate her for making a mess, she may stop taking them out and that would actually be very, very bad.

That's not to say that she won't have to put her things away, but it's going to be a much different exchange when it is time to clean up. Something along the lines of, "Cady, come help me clean up and while you do, tell me what game you were playing where Smurfs and Pokemon and Squinkies and Spiderman live in the same Pottery Barn doll house with the Barbie car parked outside."

I'll let you know how it works out.

What is (was) it like in your house?

ROFL! That's quite a collection of things - I'm sure there's an interesting back-story to all that. At our place, the mess is 99% as the result of a teenager ... drop school bag right at front door so everyone trips over it ... keys thrown on the kitchen table ... food on the counter, or wrappers, knives and forks ... remote for the tv nowhere to be found.

Thankfully, the worst of the mess is confined to his bedroom and a quick threat of taking the cell phone away for a week will usually result in at least a partial cleaning.

Jen, I agree 100%. I like to let my dd take out every toy she wants, when she wants it, because she combines them in such creative & amazing ways. I just make sure that she helps clean it up when the fun is over...of course I help if she needs it (she did more when she was smaller), but we put fairies back in fairy bin, strawberry shortcakes back in their bin, Lego blocks in their bin, etc. I have a good organizational system for the toys so everything does have its own spot eventually.

I could never understand the parents who make rules like, "you can only play with one bin at a time. When you're done, you put it all away and THEN you can take another one."

To me, that is very limiting! I love to see her spin the most fantastic stories by combining things that may never have been used together before. I think it helps spur the imagination.

Sometimes I even let her leave her creations overnite, or for a few nights. (OK, often.) For example, she arranged an elaborate parade of fairy dolls, toy animals, strawberry shortcakes, legos, cars, blocks -- it was so cool! I let her leave that all week, because it wasn't egregiously in the way of anything, nobody was coming over, and she played with it and added to it daily.

We just have to stay on top of the mess to make sure it doesn't get crazy!

You are better mothers than I. I love the attitude shift. Definitely something to ponder.

(Nothing ever gets put away around here. Our creativity totally squashed by an inability to find an open play space. )

That sounds like my husband ... hmmm. I'm wondering if I can take his cell phone away if he leaves things on the floor in the doorway, leaves a mess in the kitchen and hides the remotes?

I can tell you the response I got in my house is "What? what mess?"

Haha. I would get the same response if I asked. I honestly don't think they notice things like that. Sometimes, I leave things out for my husband to put away. Like I will stack his shoes in a neat pile on the stairs so he will see them when he is on his way upstairs and carry them up. He will step over them without even looking down. Ha.

this is a great post! We have six children. And the rule in this house is the same as how I was raised. Your room is yours to do what you want. BUT every Sat. everything is cleaned up so the room can get vacumed and the sheets washed. I think it gives the kids a place that they feel is just theirs. NOW when we get company doors are shut and if someone asks for a tour of the home I just explain that this is "so and so's room" and move on without opening their door.

this being said our children NEVER had a tv in thier rooms!

This being said. They are all teenagers and adults now, and the rooms stay a mess most of the time. Once and awhile I will tell them to get their room cleaned just so the rooms dont smell. LOL. the rule is when you walk in the house all your 'stuff' goes to your room.

That way the rest of the house stays clean (most of the time)

Well. That didn't last long.

I just can't stand the mess.

In my next life I want to come back as Jen V's daughter. She seriously has the best life!

I like your style of thinking Jennifers....with my boys it's not the toys I worry about but the sweaty socks, shirts, and wet towels they drop on the floor. I thought that their rooms wouldn't smell like a teenage gym locker room until they were a little older. When we move they are going to have to rip out the carpet and fumigate in there.